At some point, everyone feels replaceable in their group of friends. This isn’t groundbreaking stuff, it’s common. And it’s annoying. One moment you can go from feeling of security and love to feeling alone and horrible. It weird people don’t realize the power they have over your emotions or maybe people shouldn’t have this power and I need to reevaluate things. Something small or dumb can be the trigger and I’m left wondering if I ever had any friends to begin with.
I feel like I make a pretty good effort to keep the people who matter to me in my life. I’m not about to chase after someone who doesn’t want me around. But I feel like that leaves me making a lot of concessions and putting other people a head of myself. Again, this isn’t groundbreaking material. A lot of people do it. Whenever I hit this wall I always think to myself ok I’m done. If I mattered to these people I wouldn’t be feeling so shitty and alone. I don’t need to do these things, I don’t need to go out of my way and then act its nothing for people who make me feel so small.
The problem with this is I always tell myself that I am over reacting. That I’m reading too much into things and they don’t mean to make me feel unloved. It’s a cycle that never ends because I just never confront the people who make me feel small. Well maybe confront is to strong of a word. I don’t want to fight I want to feel like I matter to the people who matter to me.
*Since is kind of a sad post I thought I would make the picture something that reminds me of being happy. So here’s another picture of London